while looking at the laundry outside being dried by the wind and the sunshine,memories of him followed the wind and into my mind.i thought about him for a while then shook them away.i wonder,is it more hurtful to have someone we like right infront of us but we can't have them or having someone we like far away from us and we can't have them?both are sad isn't it.i'm the 2nd.there are reasons for the two situations to be hurtful.it is up to us to judge it.hmm.*sigh*

after the event on Saturday,mum keep mentioning about me being with Didi.i seriously don't understand what my mum's intention was.she say it is possible for him to like me.but i firmly say it is not possible.i mean let me get this straight.when i took picture with him,he didn't look at me.i seriously doubt that he know i even exist.if sis Emma then its different coz she was the one who always catch Didi's attention for my benefit.funny isn't it.mum say if Allah say he is mine then he is mine.and i said,"i think Allah also know that me and him are not suitable."its true.i believe that there is a possibility,but the possibility is as small as a germ.if Didi were to be my cousin-in-law,i readily accept it.but i think he will definitely choose someone that is matching with him and someone who understand him better.but sis Emma's chance is still there.

i really really really miss him.i miss his face,his panda eye,his tall body,his way of walking,his way of leaning on the pillar,i miss everything about him.when will i ever get to meet him again?my heart is telling me to do what i always do,that is to take the train instead of the bus to go to Woodlands or somewhere.but my brain say it is not a good idea.coz everytime i see him,i will cry.and if i do what i do but he is not there,i will cry also.so what should i do?i guess i should do nothing.if meeting him hurts me,then it's better for me not to meet him...