"Do you want to go on and continue as a teacher?"

Again, the question was asked. And again, I have no answer to that question. And so, again, I avoided. Hide. Run. Why can't I answer? When can I have the answer? Truly, I have no idea. I have to admit, the  question never left my mind. It just..Well let's just say I pushed it to my subconscious. Yes, it's bothering me. It always has. And everytime my mum asked me the question, my mouth was shut. Mind blank. Ears, well I would have covered them if it didn't look so obvious that I'm avoiding the question. And everytime, I just walked away without answering her question.

How can I answer the question when I don't even have the answer? I know it's just a simple yes or no. But you see, it's not that simple. It involves my future. Our future, my mum's and mine. And that's just it. It involve my mum. If it was just about me, I would have just shrug my shoulders and say, "I'll just go with the flow" because truly, that was what i wanted to say, before I took a look at my mum. And then, my mouth went shut. Because I know very well what she really want. And knowing that, I can't possibly say otherwise, can I? No. It would be too cruel. Selfish. And I just love her too much to disappoint her. Even if it means going against what I want. But then again, I don't even know what I want...