reach home at 8pm.which is barely an hour ago.had to do CRS project at Dian's house.we only managed to do videos.i don noe whether its ok.the video i mean.hmm.i hope its gd.o ya.Hafiiz smsed me saying he saw him.haha.thank u Hafiiz for ur concern.

my mind is actually confused rite now.when i went home in the train,i saw him near the escalator.he was on the phone.his actions make me so nervous n scared.he was talking to tat somebody on the phone while smiling.i juz felt like maybe God is trying to tell me something.coz when i was in the train,i prayed that hopefully something happen.i meant something good.but looking at his action juz now,it makes me feel like my prayers are partially granted.but not to wat i want or expect.my mind suddenly was filled wif questions again.'wat if the person he was talking to on the phone is his girlfren?'then another part of my mind sae,'or it may be his mum.but it doesnt make sense.'im sorry.im being pessimistic i noe.but thats me.im a melancholy anyway.i cried on the way home.

i don noe y.maybe bcoz im waiting too long or something.i somehow feel like the part of my heart which used to be crazy for him is fading slowly.i juz feel like everyday my feelings for him is fading.i tink its becoz i have been waiting too long or bcoz i feel tat its juz not possible for us to be together.i mean can u imagine meeting a random guy n suddenly u r like so crazy in love wif him n at last u were together.it juz seems so unreal isnt it.its like too perfect or something.it juz doesnt feel rite for me.

and i have to face reality.i mean he can definitely find someone better than me.i noe tat i have many weaknesses that a guy may not like.i noe no one is perfect.but still???oh God!!!and i realise something.this few days i have been talking abt Didicazli more than im talking abt him.????i don noe y.GOD!!!y am i like this???im actually always falling in love wif someone who i definitely and seriously cant be wif.i mean.DIDICAZLI AND ME???for GOD sake.get real man.there r like wat?200++ fans of Didi out there?n seriously i don noe him tat well.n im super sure he don even noe i exist.so to compare me wif Didi's case n me wif Mrt Guy's case,i tink me wif Mrt Guy's case is much more reasonable.i mean normal person wif normal person.but i noe Didi more than i noe him leh.argh forget it.stress thinking abt this.